The other night, I got a message from a guy on one of the online dating sites that said:
You have big balls- I can appreciate that 🙂
I like to think I’m just outside the box and-enjoyed your honest, fun, interesting rant.
I like active, heathy- and understand that comes in all shapes and sizes. If you like to hike, bike, and can rut more than 15 minutes- give me a shout back;)
My initial reaction was positive. After all, he indicated that he understands that being a larger size doesn’t automatically mean that someone is a slug. Then that “if” started to get to me. What if I looked at his profile, saw a few spelling errors and sent a message that said:
It’s ballsy to hang those spelling errors out where everyone can see them, and I enjoyed the humor in your rant about people nit-picking every spelling glitch.
I understand that there are all sorts of different sorts of intelligence, and spelling isn’t everything.
I like guys who are smart and funny, so to make sure you are smart in spite of your spelling troubles, I have included some links to a few online IQ tests. If you score above 140, drop me a line!
He wouldn’t have reponded as politely as I did. There isn’t the smallest doubt in mind of that. He would have been offended, and rightfully so. No one would think that it was OK to imply that someone might not be smart enough to date, and including a conditional acceptance based on a test would insult anyone who got such a message.
My actual response, and I did respond, was more to the point. I thanked him for calling me ballsy, and suggested that it was pretty ballsy of him to say he might be willing to date a fun, honest woman if she could pass a fitness challenge first. Then I asked him to clarify when the timer would start on the rutting–during foreplay or at penetration. He took it well, or pretended to.
Conditional acceptance is not what anyone wants. People might settle for it. People might not even recognize it as such. I have no desire to be involved with someone whose affection comes with an IF statement. We all have preferences, but when it comes down to it, we need to accept people the way they are or move on.
Obviously in this case I will be moving on.