If anyone would like to comment on my ill-humor today, go right ahead.
I feel compelled to warn you, however, that if you say anything I just might give you a black eye.
And do NOT attempt to cajole me or encourage me to snap out of it. If one person tries to make me be positive about anything, I will not be held responsible for my actions.
Can I get an attorney to review this and advise on if it can be considered legally binding?