And oh, my dreams, it’s never quite as it seems,
Never quite as it seems.–The Cranberries/Dreams
They’ve promised that dreams can come true – but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too.
–Oscar Wilde
Oh, for the days of succubi and incubi invading our night time lives. Don’t you miss them? I suppose technically I’m not really talking about incubi and succubi, since I don’t really believe they’re demons. I’m talking about hyper-realistic sexual dreams. The ones where you wake up feeling like you have received a very intimate night time visit.
Sometimes a visiting incubus does you good. You know the dreams I mean. The really good ones. The ones the wake you up wondering why you’re so achy…ohhhh right there! When you wake up during the night wondering why your legs are so sore and hurry back to sleep to find out. The ones that maybe go on all night. The ones you want to slide right back into. It won’t matter if you’re late to work. Just stay in bed another hour or two…
Sometimes a visiting incubus is bad. You know those dreams, too. They’re the exact same dreams as the good ones only with people or things you’re not thrilled to have that kind of dreams about. Maybe the incubus is in the form of a person you hate. Or a creepy monster. Or just someone you find sexually repellent. I don’t think I’ve ever had a very long lasting dream like that. Usually the creep factor wakes me up. If only I could manage that with nightmares.
Why am I so fixated on incubi? Am I beset by demons?
Um. . . n-n-no.
They’re just interesting. Incubi are interesting.
You believe me, right?
No, I’m not working on how to get an incubus to visit me every night. That would be silly. I’d be too tired to work, and that is NOT a reason for continual tardiness that I ever want to have to discuss with my boss.
I don’t think people use incubi as an excuse very much these days. “Sorry I’m late–beset by demons, sorry!”
Maybe I’ll bring it back–there’s nothing better for your reputation at work than demonic possession!
Shit. People probably already think I’m beset by demons anyway. I might as well get an incubus.
**For those of us not current on our sex demon terminology, an incubus is a male demon and a succubus is a female demon. Because I prefer male demons, I am focusing mainly on the incubus. Not that there is anything wrong with a preference for female demons.
Back in the bad old days, I suspect they were probably invented as a handy way not to out the perverts and rapists in the clan. Pregnant virgins in the family? Yep. Incubi. No perverts in our tribe, but oh my goodness we are very beset by demons lately!
In case you hadn’t noticed, I am particularly fond of the expression “beset by demons.” Well, I mean, shit. Demons. What’s not to like??