I walk on concrete
I walk on sand
But I can’t find a safe place to stand.
I’m scared, baby
I want to run
PJ Harvey/Big Exit
It has been said that I am sometimes a little bit headstrong.
Pause for laughter.
OK. I am really freaking stubborn. I do not back down from many situations. I have even been kicked out of a club. For fighting. Stop laughing. I was too fighting. If you want details you will have to ask me in person….but I was once banned from a place for trying to strangle a guy. No, I didn’t succeed. I’m just saying I’m stubborn, and I don’t back down easily. I once kicked a guy physically out of my car for insulting my hair. That might not indicate that I was stubborn as much as it indicates that I have a bad disposition.
I have been held up at gunpoint. I have been on fire.
What makes me run?
I will run away from anyone who stops talking to me. I will try once or twice to find out why, but if they remain elusive I will assume they are mad at me or they hate me, or that they don’t want me around, and I will run. Or, really, it’s more like a very slow walk backwards.
Is that a productive way to confront issues? Not so much.
But what am I going to do? They won’t talk to me..
I guess in some ways, it’s another way to stand my ground.
They know where to find me if they want to talk.
I can wait.
For how long?
As long as I need to.