This is why first impressions are often correct.
Although some people might have made mistakes.
They may have arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them.
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse.
Some may have gotten half-way there, and then changed their minds.
He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake
–Talking Heads/Seen and Not Seen
What I always wonder about is how do people know when they’re right?
As the founder of the Cult of Doubt, I’ve established that:
1. I am frequently wrong.
2. Because of #1, I question pretty much everything.
3. Sometimes I’m wrong precisely about the things I am most sure of.
4. Drinking out of a skull rocks.
Setting aside my own inadequacies and doubts, mere observation shows us that a lot of people must be wrong about a lot of stuff. Here are a few examples:
1. A lot of people are totally OK with female circumcision. They think women need to be controlled sexually (oh, we have such wanton ways!) in order for society to function well. Other people think they are incorrect. Someone is wrong. Both sides are sure about it.
2. A lot of people think that believing in only their flavor of deity will get them into some sort of paradise. Virgins optional. They’re willing to kill each other over it. We’ve been killing each other for God for centuries. Someone is wrong.
3. In a lot of cultures, it is completely acceptable, even desirable, for a 30 year old man to marry a 13 year old girl. (See the cultural bias? Man vs girl?) in our society, it’s illegal.
4. Ditto for arranged marriage.
5. A lot of people are totally fine with legal and social discrimination based on race, religion, gender…you name it. Others are just as adamant that the others are completely wrong.
So we have radically different social, religious and legal expectations and everyone involved is certain that their team is correct. People die to enforce their beliefs. They are willing to kill to defend their beliefs.
How in the hell are they all so sure of themselves?
I’m serious–I don’t even know if my socks are really red like I think they are. I have no real clue who likes me and who doesn’t. I don’t know if you should drink red or white wine with bolognese sauce. I am full of self doubt and doubt about pretty much everything except my own golden rule. My golden rule doesn’t hurt anyone, so I feel comfortable sticking with it.
The fact that people are willing to blow me up because I am an atheist is a foreign concept to me. I can’t wrap my brain around it at all. Or people who want me to shut up because I have a vagina. I get that people might want me to shut up because I’m a pain in the ass. I mean, I know I am sometimes, but what does my womb have to do with it?
Y’all were aware that I have a vagina, yes?
Just checking.
No, I’m not going to show it to anyone. Maybe later.
Like everything else, there has got to be a balance. People have got to be willing to see that there are other points of view, and that there is very seldom such a thing as absolute right and wrong.
I spent a lot of my life seeing everything as black or white.
Now, it’s almost all gray.