I wish I didn’t know now
What I didn’t know then.
–Bob Seger/Against The Wind
You like to think that knowing more is better. That’s mostly true, I guess. You can probably never have too much general knowledge. Other things, like the things you learn about life and about people, are harder to be glad about.
As much as it pains me, Bob Seger may be right. There really are things I wish I didn’t know now that I didn’t know then.
So I’ve been making a list.
What I wish I didn’t know
1. You will not get through life without being hurt. The worst thing will be that sometimes you will be hurt by the people you love and trust the most.
2. Bad things, even very bad things will happen to you. There is no way to avoid it entirely.
3. People don’t all wish you well. Some people will hate you. There is not much you will be able to do about it.
4. Adults don’t know everything.
5. You will hurt people you love. Sometimes you won’t mean to, but sometimes you will even hurt them on purpose.
6. Sometimes loving someone isn’t enough.
7. Sometimes, your heart will break. I was 15 the first time it happened. Did it get better? Yes, but if I’d known how long it would take, I’m not sure I could have gotten though it.
8. Good people do shitty things at times.
9. It’s hard to live with people, including yourself, sometimes.
10. Loving someone can’t fix them if they break.
11. You can’t make someone love you, and you can’t stop loving someone. Learning that hurts.
What I am glad I do know
1. You can forgive anything, and that doesn’t mean you have to live with it or condone it.
2. Sometimes the people who hurt you didn’t mean to.
3. You can survive almost anything. Whatever doesn’t kill you kind of does make you stronger.
4. Love really can conquer almost anything.
5. People will generally be more open to people who are open themselves.
6. Being yourself, even if you are weird, will frequently make people like you.
7. Hiding who you really are doesn’t work. You will leak out all around the edges and people will think you are dishonest. They will be right. It’s always better to be yourself whenever possible.
8. Even when things are at their worst, there is always something to be grateful for. Always. It’s usually not even that hard to find.
9. Mostly? Life is good.
10. If you assume that people’s intentions are good, it will generally be true.