For one of my weddings, some of my girlfriends held a bachelorette party for me in a sex shop. One of the presentations the staff did while we were there was a discussion of the various brands of lubricants suitable for use in anal sex. One of my friends was very interested and asked a lot of questions, so the demo went on for quite some time. It was certainly more information than I will personally ever need about anal sex.
In case you are wondering, the main lesson about anal lube is that thicker and slipperier is better.
For some reason, at the tattoo shop where I get my ink done, butt stuff is a frequent topic of discussion so at one point I told the story of the party and my friend’s intense interest in anal lube.
Everyone was being quiet and listening intently, which was a little unusual. Finally someone said, “I don’t think I am sexually naive, but I had no idea that there was lube specifically for butt sex.”
One of the artists said “Haven’t you ever heard of Asssstroglide?”
And then came the laughter and jokes of a raunchiness level I have rarely encountered.
It’s good being a catalyst for reprehensible language and behavior.
Eventually someone stopped and said “wait, wait–so did you get a gift certificate? What did you buy?”
So I told them I did get a gift certificate, and was looking at a particular electric toy with a Hitachi brand on it. One of my friends turned to me and said something like “my rice cooker is a Hitachi, and I’ve never had a bit of trouble with it. Reliability is important.”
So I got it.
Everyone at the tattoo shop agreed that you wouldn’t want to be let down at just the wrong moment so it’s important to buy quality products.
I still have it.
My friend was right. Hitachi is a very reliable brand.