I coulda had class.
I coulda been a contender.
I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.
—On the Waterfront
If there was such a thing as Competitive Sloth, after medalling in the Sloth Olympics, I’d be a first round draft pick of a professional Sloth team. I’d get a DNF in all events because I am just that fucking good at it, and I’m pretty sure that a DNF* in a Sloth event would be like a platinum medal.
I would be the Babe Zaharias of Sloth.
And people say I have no goals.
Oh.
That isn’t a goal?
Well.
Alright then.
Carry on.
mumble…I do have class though…and I’m not a bum.
*DNF=Did Not Finish