You know, toddlers get what they want most of the time. And they act like total douche nozzles.
They really do.
I mean, they throw things, the scream when they are cranky, they kick and bite…and people love them.
Isn’t that a genetic thing so the species survives?
Sure, but why can’t I behave like that now?
Would you want to?
Maybe.
Because….?
Well, how many unhappy toddlers do you know? I mean, they scream for a minute and then they are over it. Maybe all I need to do is scream more.
Scream more? Well. I am sure there is a reason it doesn’t work for adults.
Just because people expect a certain kind of behavior doesn’t mean I have to comply does it?
Maybe if you expect a paycheck.
True enough. But how fun would it be to collapse on the floor in a conference room kicking my feet against the wall and screaming “nooooooo, nooooooooo, I don’t like youuuuuuuu nooooooo” and then suddenly giggling hysterically?
You’d get your dress dirty, and people might see your underwear.
So. Like honey badger, toddler me don’t care. I’d make sure I had nice underpants, though.
Of course.
Being a toddler is no excuse for ugly panties.
Definitely not.
But I think I should work myself up to screaming tantrums gradually.
Well, yeah. You should warm up.
Get people used to it a little at a time.
That is a smart idea.
Thanks. I was thinking I could start by stamping my little feet when someone does something I don’t like.
Then what?
Then I could work up to foot stomping with the additional “nooooooooooo, nooooooooo, noooooooooo” added in.
How long were you thinking?
To work my way up to the full hissy?
Yeah.
Three weeks, if I choose a fairly aggressive schedule. Five if I take a more relaxed approach.
Toddlers take about 18-24 months to get there.
But I do have some experience already. I mean, I have already been a toddler before.
Ooh, good point! You just need to sort of coax it back out.
I think I am up for the challenge. I just have to wait for someone to displease me.
That shouldn’t take long.
Nah. I should be working into my first foot stomp well before noon tomorrow.
Let me know how that goes.
I am really going to enjoy this.
Until you get fired.
I can walk the line. I know I can.
Good luck!