As I was driving home from a friend’s house the other night, I sang along to James Taylor’s song “You’ve Got A Friend” and hit the repeat button, the way you do when you like a song and want to sing some more. Maybe a few times. Four times. Four. Okay? I get a little obsessive sometimes.
The song made me smile, because for a long time I just couldn’t deal with that song.
I think anyone who loves music tends to connect people to songs. Even more than that, I have a couple of songs that are like barometers. They indicate the various pressures in my relationship to the person the song belongs to.
For a long, long time I couldn’t listen to that song at all. I didn’t really know why, at the time. It was a song I used to listen to with someone who had been very important to me. Someone I eventually disappeared with fairly extreme prejudice. I sort of mentally erased him. But that song would come on sometimes, and it would make me uncomfortable so I’d have to skip past it.
It’s not that I didn’t like it any more. It didn’t make me sad. I just couldn’t stand hearing it.
When I made peace with the person it was linked to in my heart, I got the song back too. Bonus. The minute things go a little agley, though, the song goes with it. Up and down like one of those fluid barometers with the floats in them.
Right now? It’s up. So I am singing along while I can.
It makes me hopeful I’ll get (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes back again soon, but I am guessing it may have become a barometer as well.
Which sucks.
I really did use to be disgusted. Now I really do try to be amused. I used it as an online dating tag line in the 90’s. I refer to certain people with angelic nicknames. I need it back. It is MY FUCKING SONG.
The thing is, once someone takes a song away, it’s not like they can just turn it back over. I’m sure they would. It has to come back on its own. Once whatever took it away gets resolved.
I sure hope it doesn’t take 30 years this time…