An imaginary conversation about spelling

Did I tell you that the other day I realized that I had been pronouncing and spelling the word obstinate incorrectly for my entire life?

Obstinant?

Yes, exactly. 

No, do you mean obstinant?

That is what I am saying. It isn’t obstinant. It’s obstinate. 

No way. 

Way. 

I’ve been saying it wrong too!

I must have looked it up 20 times to make sure. 

What else do you suppose you are wrong about?

There is no telling. It could be anything. I’m just going to have to be prepared for it.  

Who told you? 

No one. I was saved by autocorrect. Of course I didn’t believe it. So I looked it up before I sent the message and discovered that I was wrong. 

While cursing autocorrect, naturally. 

Of course. Like you do. 

So you didn’t have to tell anyone you were wrong. 

I don’t mind being wrong. And stop snickering. 

You do too mind. 

I’m wrong sometimes. Like everyone. Seriously. Stop. Snickering is not polite when I am baring my soul. 

Obstinately. 

Ass. 

What other favorite words do you think you have wrong?

None, I hope. Do you think I should make a list of my favorite words and post them as an excuse to spell check them all?

Oh yeah. Everyone wants to read a list of words. 

Some people like words. 

Do not post a list of words on the blog. 

You aren’t my editor. 

Clearly. 

What else should I not post about?

There’s an awful lot of shit about feelings. 

Yes. That is because I have feelings quite often. 

You really do. Oh, don’t look at me like that. 

It’s how I look when people are being douche canoes. 

I don’t mean it. I like to hear about your feelings. 

That is unfortunate, because now I am going to have to change my focus. 

Uh huh. 

To the wonderful world of fleece. 

Fleece?

Fleece. 

The stuff they make sweatshirts of?

No, no. The stuff that grows on sheep and alpacas and stuff. 

Fleece. 

Fleece! I have a lot of it, you know. 

No, I did not know that about you. What do you do with it?

Spin it. 

Spin it?

Why are you repeating everything I say?

Because sometimes I find you what you say a little bit confusing. 

Spinning is when you take the fleece, and prepare it in whatever way…and then you use a spindle or spinning wheel to turn it into thread or yarn. 

Are you kidding me?

About what?

You know how to spin?

Sure.

Sometimes you can be very surprising. 

Thanks. 

I’m not sure I meant it as a compliment. 

I took it as one. 

Because you are obstinate. 

No, because I am an optimist. 

You are not. 

Am too. I am an optimistic pessimist. 

Meaning?

A lot of shitty things are going to happen, but I will always be OK. 

Optimistic pessimism?

Right. 

I like it. 

No, you just like me. 

That, you are right about. 

Thanks. 

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