How do you train an angel?

Mara reclined in the sun on her chaise lounge, with a novel and a glass of red wine at her side after a particularly acrobatic evening with Samael who did not appear to be the least bit tired. He never was. In fact, he was full of energy in spite of having cleaned both of the bathrooms, washed and dried the dishes, done 2 loads of laundry and dusted the whole house. He was currently humming an exotic tune while he vaccumed the carpets upstairs. Was there anything sexier, she wondered, than an incubus in an apron?

Samael nuzzled her neck. He did not appear to be wearing anything. Not even an apron. And there was, sadly, no chaise lounge. Just a very cluttered kitchen with a sink piled high with dirty dishes.

Mara sighed and wondered what she’d have to do to get the angel into an apron. Could she tell him the feather duster was a sword?

“Don’t you have anything to…destroy…or anything? I have things to do today, and although your companionship is very fulfilling in many ways, I do have some errands to run and cleaning to do. And a very neglected job. The last time I tried to get anything done, you were in the way. It’s hard to do any work with a bored giant incubus in the house stomping around.”

Samael raised a displeased eyebrow at the word incubus.
“I do not stomp. I glide. Or fly. Silently. You have voiced your displeasure about my silent arrivals more than once. Nevertheless. Is there anything I may assist you with, my treasure?”

“Do you know how to sweep? Dust? Feed birds? Buy groceries?”

“Those are not typically things I am required to do. I can eliminate or attract dust and dirt with a spell if you wish.”

“Really? Cool! Eliminate away!”

Samael lifted a hand slightly and muttered a few strange words. Several potted plants collapsed, but the floors, windows, shelves and other surfaces did look dramatically cleaner.

“That’s amazing. The plants need dirt to grow in, though. Can you put some dirt back in the plants?”

“Not with a spell. The dirt no longer exists.”

“Do angels get any sort of practical training? Can you use a shovel?”

“I could slice you into three equal pieces with my sword before you realize you are even dead.”

“Well. That’s sweet, and I’m sure it’s very practical in certain situations. I’m not sure how helpful that will be in cleaning the house though.”

“I do not wish to slice you into three pieces, of course. But I could if I needed to.”

“Let’s try not to end up there, Sami.”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that. I am Samael.”

“And I wish you knew how to wash dishes. We all have our cross to bear.”