You know, I am usually pretty stubborn.
I’ve noticed.
This might be a good time for me to give up though.
Really?
Really.
Why?
I am tired.
You should be.
I am.
So you said.
You don’t seem very surprised.
I’m not…
But?
But I don’t know if I believe you.
I don’t know if you should.
You’re sort of fixated.
I always have been.
No, not always.
Pretty much always. I just buried it for a few decades.
Maybe that was for the best.
No. It was definitely NOT for the best. It messed me up.
You seem pretty together to me. I think you exaggerate how fucked up you are.
That is a distinct possibility.
You don’t want to admit that something about you is ordinary.
Ordinary is a four letter word.
Well, face it: this is a very ordinary issue.
I suppose it is.
To be clear, what specifically are you giving up?
Trying to alter the course of things.
Meaning?
I am just going to let go.
Meaning?
I’m going to step back a little.
Uh huh.
What?
No you aren’t.
I didn’t say I was going to do anything drastic. Just let things take their course.
That doesn’t even mean anything.
It doesn’t?
No.
I think it means that I will stop trying to impose what I want on things.
Why shouldn’t you get what you want?
Maybe you can’t always get what you want.
Don’t even quote the Rolling Stones to me.
What? Why? But if you try sometimes…
Shut up.
But you do generally get what you need.
No, you don’t need this.
There isn’t any “this” to it.
Exactly.
All I am saying is that maybe now I am ready to not be so fixated and to just let whatever happens or doesn’t happen just…do that.
If you say so.
Your trust is heartwarming.
When was the last middle of the night message?
Oh, shut up.
Just saying.
So you don’t think I should let go?
No, I do think you should. I just don’t think you will. For one thing, I don’t think you really even want to.
Of course I don’t.
So…why go through the motions?
Because It’s just so stupid.
Something has to change?
I can only change my side of anything.
That is very true.
But you don’t think I will?
I hope you will.
It’s not like I want to.
That is why it seems like a wasted effort.
What do you think I should do?
Nothing. Figure out why you are content to accept nothing.
I’m not. I just…I don’t know what I should do other than try to just…back off. If I say something, I am being dramatic…if I don’t say anything, I am being dramatic.
I’ll cross my fingers for you. It doesn’t seem like your options are good.
No. I don’t want to close a door, but holding the door open by myself is getting old.
You’ll figure it out.
I guess. I did figure one thing out.
What’s that?
I will never get labia reduction surgery.
Uh…okay.
I can’t even believe it is a real thing.
Oh, it is…
What do you suppose would have to happen for a woman to be self conscious about her labia? I mean, I have never had anyone comment on mine at all.
Me either.
Do you suppose some women have better labia than others?
I have no idea. Like you, no one has ever said anything about mine.
No criticism. No compliments.
Exactly.
Well, I will let you know if I get any feedback about mine. If anyone ever sees them again.
Thanks. And I promise I will never get mine altered. I would have to have way more extra money than I do for that to even make it onto a list of things to consider.
Good to hear. I am sure yours are very lovely anyway.
Yours, too.