This will be succinct.
Stop laughing, it really will.
I had a rough night the other night. I had a bad dream–not a nightmare, just an overly realistic dream about getting dumped. I woke up angry and tearful in the middle of the night, couldn’t get back to sleep, and the mood carried over into the day. Melancholy. It’s November, it happens.
I am apparently the sort of person who can be angry at someone in real life for something they do to me in a dream. My middle name is not ‘Rational’ like I thought it was.
At work, I tried to shake the mood without a lot of success. Several hours later, though, I walked out of the office and everything went BAM in that good sort of way.
It was one of those cold, sunny days. Blue sky. Yellow and red leaves crunching underfoot. Light streaming through the leaves still in the trees. A cup of tea while I smiled out the window at it after I got home. A sunset so beautiful I texted someone and made him go outside and look at it. My mood was already immeasurably better just breathing in the Fall smell. You know the smell: leaves and earth and grass and pale sunshine low in the sky.
Then I headed out for happy hour and a movie with someone I love. One who chastised me for writing about giving up. But I meant letting go and accepting more than giving up. More to think about on that, I guess. Or perhaps I could just pay more attention to what I write. Anyway.
Happy hour was happy and the movie was a good one. One with loose ends. Magical realism. Suicide with a happy ending.
So, at the end of the day I am feeling peaceful and grateful. If I were to propose a toast, it would be to the last sunny days of Fall and friends who love you enough to ask and listen.
And to cute bartenders.
Fuck. You were all right about me not being succinct.
Oh well.