At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You’re an asshole but I love you
–P!nk/True LoveTrue love is the devil’s crowbar.
–X/True Love
Ever been involved in a love-hate relationship?
I haven’t.
It seems like it’d be a sort of a universal romantic rite of passage, but I’ve never really been there. Once I figure out I don’t like someone, it seems pointless to keep seeing them. One of the main reasons to be romantically involved with someone is because you like them MORE than anyone else. Plus sex. Great sex with someone I dislike has never made me want to keep someone around for long.
For me, liking someone is mandatory. I haven’t ever really understood the lure of the relationship that is full of drama and fighting. To the point that I am still friends with almost every person I’ve ever had any sort of a serious relationship with, much to the chagrin of anyone new I become involved with as I go through life.
Note to self: stop and think about this. Do you have trouble letting go, or are they all really so great that you should keep them forever? Answer to self: mostly, they are all really that great.
Have I ever been in love with someone who’s an asshole? Well. Maybe. A bit. Around the edges. That doesn’t mean I wanted to strangle him. Much. Usually. Sometimes just a teeny bit. Not until he is dead or anything. Plus, when I fell in love with him, he wasn’t an asshole at all. Or maybe I just didn’t notice until later. Maybe he never was.
Oh, he was…at times. Not always.
Kayso…
Some of it is human nature– no matter how much you like someone in general, you never like anyone 100% of the time. It’s not possible. No matter how awesomely perfect a person is, you are going to want to kill them once in a while. Maybe they leave the toilet seat down most of the time, and then always manage to leave it up on the one night you have to get up in the middle of the night all half asleep. Or they just can’t ever state a preference about where they want to go for dinner, except it’s not ANY of the places you want to go. “Wherever you want, babe. No. Not there.” Or they won’t ever tell their Mom to stop calling at 0700. Or they are incapable of going grocery shopping without an itemized list including brand names and eleventeen thousand phone calls so it takes longer than if you had just gone yourself. Whatever. Everyone is going to irritate the crap out of you at some point.
It is inevitable, and it’s OK (as long as you don’t actually strangle them. Strangulation is both morally wrong and illegal.)
And don’t think I have forgotten that I am also sometimes an asshole. I am. I am inpatient. I like to have my own way. I like to be right. I can be judgmental. If I am pushed, I can say things that are really cruel. I am a slob. I would rather not cook. I cry when I would be much better served by discussing my feelings intelligently. I have a tendency to be..uh…intense about things.
A lot of people probably think I am an asshole a lot of the time. Mostly I am not…but I do have my less than stellar moments. Chelle says it’s because I’m human. Chelle is never an asshole, as far as I can tell.
I dunno.
Have someone in my life who I hate? Not likely. Not for long.
What do you all think is awful about me? Should I put up a poll? It would be fun!
Here we go:
[poll id=”3″]